Oh boy, where do I even start with “There Are No Ghosts at the Grand”? I mean, this thing’s a wild cocktail of haunted hotels, puzzling mysteries, and, believe it or not, it’s also kind of a musical? Sounds like my kind of Friday night. So, picture this: you’re Chris David, young guy from the U.S. who randomly inherits this creaky old hotel by the sea in England. Seems like a sweet deal, right? Until you find out you’re not just here for tea and renovations.
By day, you’re wielding these bizarre power tools that talk—imagine chit-chatting sand blasters and paint sprayers. You’re sprucing up the place, but it’s less about the details and more about getting it done. Who cares if it’s not perfect? Quick, slap on that paint! But, gee, don’t lollygag too much. You’ve got 30 days, like some kind of mystical deadline looming over your shoulder.
And oh, meet Robert C MacBrushy, your AI sidekick who’s a weird mix of that guy Scotty from Star Trek and a less annoying Clippy. Seriously, this “guy” knows his DIY and his ghosts. Nights turn spooky pretty fast, with ancient creepy-crawlies leaving their marks on softer stuff—yikes!—while furniture seems to have a mind of its own. Not too relaxing, huh?
Speaking of nights, you’re not just tucking in with a cup of chamomile. Nope, Chris is secretly on a quest for hidden clues, strange spaces, and who knows what else. Like, at night, the very essence of the hotel morphs into this eerie playground. But hey, Robert has your back with some special ghost-busting tool modes. Spot an invisible spook with a paint sprayer, or toss a ghost a bookcase surprise with the furniture cannon—sounds insane, right?
The place gets weirder with a bunch of quirky folks and, oh, let’s not skip Mr. Bones—the groovy cat with an Australian accent! Frisky by day, philosophy major by night, maybe? Is he helping or tricking you? The jury’s still out, honestly. And the hotel? Full of secrets that cry for discovery amid all this charm and chaos.
Now, on top of this, things really pick up music-wise. The game’s packed with tracks that belong in your dad’s forgotten 80s vinyl collection. Each character belts out their own tunes—whether it’s punk or ska—and you can join in like some melodious detective, piecing together the rhymes as furniture somehow takes unpredictable aerial paths around you. Trippy, I know.
Tired of the hotel scene? Step into Kingswood-on-Sea, the spooky village full of its own mysteries. You’ll find abandoned shops, little secrets hiding everywhere. Restore a run-down minigolf course or go beachcombing with a metal detector that’s seen better days. And that rusty scooter you trip over? Yeah, probably rideable once you clean it up. Basically, you’ll want to poke around, but don’t stay out too late… who knows what’s crawling out from under the waves after dark.
So, with all these layered mysteries, oddballs, and that delicious sprinkle of ska, “There Are No Ghosts at the Grand” pulls you into its tangled world. It’s funny, it’s a little dark, and constantly surprises you—like life, but with more singing cats. Coming in 2026 on Xbox, and maybe then we’ll find out the truth… or not. But maybe trust your gut more than the upholstery.
