I Delved into Doom: The Dark Ages for Lore but Found Only Blood and Gore

So, there I was, diving headfirst into "Doom: The Dark Ages." It’s supposedly a prequel or something to the 2016 reboot — like, a decent jumping-off point, right? Funny enough, as much as I love those adrenaline-pumping shooters, Doom and its 2020 sibling never really pinged my radar. Maybe it’s ’cause I had that guilty pleasure for the 2005 movie. Yeah, that one with the goofy yet iconic first-person scene. Anyway, this game? It’s kinda an origin tale — for the Doom guy and his wild fight against Hell. I strapped in, ready for lore overload. Spoiler alert: not much sense. But hey, demons gotta go.

Finished it — a solid 10 hours, 22 chapters-ish. Honestly? It didn’t click. But that’s, like, beside the point. Demons are gonna taste lead.

So you’re the Slayer in this. Think super soldier vibes, way better than any of the other folks flailing around. Why is he top dog? Shush, demon time.

Doomguy (we’re tight like that) is chilling on some alien ship thanks to these Maykrs. Sound fancy, right? They’re just keeping him there, kinda like The Winter Soldier but with more demons. He’s like a part-time hero/hostage – fighting demons for this techy-medieval crew. Are they human or alien? Is Earth even a thing here? Who even knows? Too busy blowing demon heads.

When Doomguy’s unleashed, oh boy, watch out. Hundreds of demons, poof, gone. Sometimes from epic heights, just for the show. He’s got this fancy kingdom trying to hide some whatchamacallit from a Big Bad Demon, jumping between Hell and— another planet? Eh, probably. Hard to tell when you’re in a chainsaw-shield whirl.

Storywise? Nah, don’t expect awards. But those fight mechanics? Chef’s kiss. Melee adds this spicy twist, and by game’s end, you’re basically a demon-shredding cyborg. From the skullcrusher to… I dunno, whatever’s in Doomguy’s arsenal, swapping tools mid-fight becomes an art. And when you’re handed that BFC (yeah, Big Freaking Crossbow), it’s lights out.

So, plot holes galore, but who cares? By the end, fear’s dripping from demon eyes as you lay waste, even to their head honcho. Doomguy’s taken command of the Maykr ship, now the HQ of demon annihilation. He’s their boogeyman, the cosmic John Wick—except it’s more demons than dogs. Eternally hunting demons. Like, why?

I dunno, just roll with it. That chainsaw shield rocks.