Sure, here’s a rewritten version of the article:
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You ever think about all the crazy stuff in Fortnite? Like, seriously, it’s a mash-up of everything and anything. I mean, one second you’re blasting Ariana Grande with King Kong, then suddenly, bam! Yoda’s chilling on your back while you zoom off in that Knight Rider car. For real, it’s wild! So, okay, hear me out—I’m here thinking we need even more whacky characters. Epic, are you listening? Here’s my dream list, no particular order, just my scrambled thoughts.
### Grimace
First off, I have this weird obsession, maybe, with wanting to see Grimace? Yeah, the big purple McDonald’s dude. Picture this: he’s out there in the chaos, armed. It’s like he’s getting back at all the TikTok teens who mocked his milkshake. Weird, right? But hey, imagine him stomping around, all purple and powerful.
### That Creepy King Guy
Remember that creepy dude from the Burger King ads? Yeah, the one with the glassy eyes! Give that man a gun, I say! He’s already been in games, which blows my mind. But honestly, seeing him creeping around Fortnite? Would be hilarious. If nothing else, we get to snipe him and feel victorious!
### Agent 47
Okay, why hasn’t this one happened yet? He’s practically tailor-made for Fortnite! The bald hitman just fits right in—he’s got guns, missions, the whole works. Plus, think of the memes, people. Just let him loose already.
### Jeeves the Butler
This feels like a long shot but, whatever, I’m all about crazy ideas. Jeeves from AskJeeves? The search engine butler from way back? Picture a retro vibe season in Fortnite—90’s nostalgia—and bam, there he is. Why not, right? Retro is in! I don’t even know how this popped into my head… but here we are.
### Cal Kestis
Star Wars is all over Fortnite, and it’s cool and all, but where’s Cal Kestis? They gave him a Lego, for crying out loud—now give him a skin! Maybe they’re waiting for the next game or something. Who knows? But come on, Epic, he’s a redhead with a lightsaber. He’d be epic in this epic game… see what I did there?
### Gaston
Quick detour into Disney territory—Gaston absolutely needs to make an entrance. Villains are getting some love, and this guy? I mean, he’s made for Fortnite antics! They better give him an emote with eggs. Important stuff, you know?
### Anyone from Star Trek
Listen, Paramount. What’s the hold-up? Kirk, Picard, even Lower Decks characters should be out there mixing it up with the likes of Darth Vader. Who’s stopping you? Don’t you like money?? Get these iconic folks into Fortnite so I can throw cash at you already!
### Samus Aran
Nintendo—come on! Let some of your cool characters join the madness. Samus would so rock this game. She’s got the skills, the look, just everything. Enough with being all protective, and join the party! Why is Sony and Xbox more fun than you??
### Weird Al
And finally, my personal plea to the universe: Weird. Al. Yankovic. This would be a festival to remember! Theme Fortnite around him, let him take over with accordion gliders and his quirky looks. My wife would laugh, I’d smile, and if Weird Al’s somehow reading this, you know you want to be in the game. Please? Cool. Thanks.
And… that’s all I got for now. These ideas just popped into my head while sipping coffee, but hey, a little chaos never hurt anyone, right?